My Journey of Faith: Beyond a Greener Pasture

In mid-October 2015, I left my home country, the Philippines, for the first time to work in the Gulf, joining the ranks of millions of Filipinos in diaspora, the so-called Overseas Filipino Workers. It was honestly a frightening and daunting decision, one that was solely rooted in a desire to seek a greener pasture for me and my family—a decision that unexpectedly enlightened me on some of the realities in life, especially our Catholic faith.

At first, I considered that decision to be self-serving, borne out of hopes of becoming financially stable quickly. However, I was aware that such would come at the expense of my faith, my active involvement, and my service in the Church. The day before my flight, I attended Mass and expressed to God how grateful I was for the opportunity. At the same time, I uttered my sincerest apology—in advance—since I might not be able to attend Mass and receive the sacraments for the whole duration of my two-year contract. But God had better plans for me. Yes, when we let God surprise us, our faith in Him deepens.

With the journey that I was going to take, I made sure to keep in my mind and heart the consoling and reassuring words of Jesus when He walked on water:

“When the disciples saw him walking on the sea they were terrified. ‘It is a ghost,’ they said, and they cried out in fear. At once [Jesus] spoke to them, ‘Take courage, it is I; do not be afraid.’” - Matthew 14:26-27

We all know this fear, don’t we?

I finally arrived in a strange land and felt even more terrified when I found myself in a sea of men wearing their traditional white dress and women cloaked in black. This was made worse by my total ignorance of the Arabic language. There were just too many “do’s and don’ts”: carry your resident ID, dress modestly, males and females must be segregated, no pork and no alcohol, no eating and drinking in public during Ramadan, no public display of affection. The list just goes on and on.

I’m now indeed in a foreign land, and it was terrifying.

Where is God? Does He really care for us?

After a few months, the work-home routine started to make me feel empty. I was earning good money and was able to support my family, but my hunger for the word of God and the presence of a Catholic community were important too. With God’s grace, I found a Catholic community after three months. I was the happiest person when I was finally able to attend Mass. Very soon I became actively involved in the different ministries in the parish. It was the turning point of my deep appreciation for Christians in places where the expression of the faith is restricted. I valued even more the importance of the Eucharistic celebrations and sacraments in our lives, our need to be with each other and help one another at all times if possible.

Deeper Meaning of the Church and the Liturgy of the Holy Eucharist

Over time, my whole understanding of the Church changed. When I think about a church, I always have in mind a physical structure or building. But in this land, they don’t exist. What then is the Church? How would the Church incarnate in our lives being in a different situation? It was a unique and entirely new experience. Less institutional but more theological. But it was the same mystery of the Church, only working differently.

The celebration of the liturgy of the Holy Eucharist was reduced to its barest. But the real presence of Jesus in the Holy Eucharist is there, whether in big cathedrals or humble spaces. Devoid of the usual pomp, I realized that the most important is what happens on the altar.

I recall one instance where we celebrated Mass in a small room with barely enough space for everyone. Yet, the sense of community and the presence of Jesus were profoundly felt. These experiences taught me that the Church’s essence is not in its physical form but in its spiritual unity and the shared faith of its members.

Take Courage, It Is I; Do Not Be Afraid

In the Gulf, I have come across two types of people: one who was willing to do whatever it takes to practice one’s faith, and one who wouldn’t dare to offend local sensibilities. Both were probably right. But what really matters in life? Material possessions? Or our relationship with God? For me, life is too valuable to waste chasing possessions. Every risk involved in serving God is a risk worth taking. Be courageous and be not afraid, know that God will always be with us.

Place of the Laity in the Church

The Church that I discovered was highly dependent on the laity, very much unlike in my home country. Here is a Church where the laity is not only ‘assisting’ but ‘acting’—with active participation in the mission of the Church. I had witnessed their dedication to various ministries. Volunteer catechists spent weekends forming children. Lay ministers and extraordinary ministers went around serving people and administering to the sick in hospitals. There were lectors and commentators, at least ten choir groups, and hundreds of altar servers. Such dynamism helped me understand the importance of the laity in the Church. As a future priest, I should empower and guide the laity to be actively involved in Church activities. In this way, they would be able to fulfill their threefold mission as priest, prophet, and king.

Jesus

I was genuinely privileged to have met a lot of people who are willing to take risks to nourish their bodies and souls through the Holy Eucharist and other activities of the Church. As one who sometimes took for granted the value of the Mass, Jesus went about His own ways to reveal Himself to me, and in the most unexpected place.

Jesus gives us the capacity to recognize Him. Through faith, He communicates to us, He awakens our humanity and draws us to Him. He is not with us simply so that we can survive the storms in our lives. He is with us so that we can share in His life and His love, and that we may be able to step out of our fear and walk with Him amid the storm.

My Journey of Faith

Today the Church is going through one of the most challenging times. In several churches in Europe that I was fortunate to visit—the most beautiful I have ever seen in my life—many were almost empty and have been turned into tourist attractions. I could hardly see young people on Sundays. It was a painful scene to watch.

I firmly believe that God allowed me to witness some of these realities to be not terrified of the future ‘ghosts’ that lie ahead of my journey of faith. I can only marvel at how God works in my life. With my confusing but rich experience living in the Gulf, ultimately courage and trust in Him became the foundations of my discernment for the priestly vocation.

From what I thought to be a self-serving decision when I opted to work in the Gulf came a decision that I would forever be grateful for, one that changed my perspective and purpose in life—a decision that was beyond ‘a greener pasture.’

(Bro. Kim left his job in the Gulf to enter the priesthood. He is presently pursuing his studies in the US with the Trinitarian Order. Please support his vocation with your prayers.)